


Not My Touch

by Obviousoption, upallnightwriting



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Forced Voyeurism, M/M, Mature for Future Chapters, Vague mentions of masturbation, mark!kink, possessive!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 14:21:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3123371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obviousoption/pseuds/Obviousoption, https://archiveofourown.org/users/upallnightwriting/pseuds/upallnightwriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uriel had told me what she had done that night, if only to watch my reaction.<br/>He needn't have bothered, I had felt what she had done.<br/>Anna had touched my mark. My Dean.</p>
<p>I felt everything.<br/>Every little thing she did to Dean, I felt.<br/>Every caress, every kiss, every stroke of her fingers on his bare skin<br/>And I hated her for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not My Touch

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request from Obviousoption, even though she wrote it with me. :P
> 
> Enjoy.

I had always regretted killing my brothers and sisters… but there was one death that I never grieved. One angel that I never missed.

Anna Milton.

Uriel had told me what she had done that night, if only to watch my reaction.  
He needn’t have bothered, I had _felt_ what she had done.  
Anna had touched _my_ mark. _My_ Dean.

I felt _everything._  
Every little thing she did to Dean, I felt.  
Every caress, every kiss, every stroke of her fingers on his bare skin  
And I hated her for it.

I envied her. Even though I had only spoken to Dean in the presence of Uriel, I was already infatuated with him, with every molecule of his being.

I became obsessed.

I stared at him as he talked to me, counting the freckles on his face, or looking into his golden-green eyes.  
I memorized every feature of his figure, from his feet to his forever messy hair.  
I watched his bowlegs as he walked.  
I watched his strong hands and arms as he gripped his shotgun.

To think that Anna touched his face, his body, looked closely at the man I so badly wanted for my own. I could not continue with the mission as ordered. I needed to save Dean once again, but this time from Anna. 

Somehow, in the old barn that night, I felt a connection to the hunter, to his look of surprise as we walked through the door, as if I had misplaced his trust, as if I were the one he was running from. He was correct, but not for the same reason he was running from the demons! 

The second time we saw each other in the barn, I knew I was lost to him, and watching Anna kiss him, it felt as if she knew I had experienced their affair in Dean’s backseat. It hurt to watch them, and it hurt even more to know that she knew and didn’t care.

She _knew_ how I felt. I knew she knew how I felt. She was my sister and she betrayed me for her own pleasure. I wanted so badly to kill her, right then and there, but it would only place me further away from Dean.

And she _knew_. She knew I wouldn’t hurt her. Not there. Not in front of Dean, or for that matter, Uriel. He had plans of his own for her, I couldn’t, or wouldn’t interfere, but I knew I needed to release the feelings I had boiling in my vessel, and then the demons appeared. I was not protecting Anna and the mission, I was protecting Dean. I could feel the fear he hid behind a mask of anger and loathing. Seeing the panic in Dean’s eyes, I attacked Azazel first. My intent was to kill him for Dean, but, for the first time in my existence, I couldn’t focus on the battle at hand. Azazel had me down, I knew I was going to die and that Dean would witness it, and Anna would probably laugh. 

My saving grace wasn’t just Uriel but Anna and the return of her grace. Now Dean could see the power she possessed and hopefully also see that she was not to be trusted. Dean seemed upset that she was gone and I needed to leave, my vessel felt strange, hot, heavy, so I grabbed Uriel by the shoulder and we left. 

We re-appeared outside the barn.  
I quickly motioned for Uriel to leave, not quite being able to concentrate on what he said as he vanished.  
I felt blood rush to my vessel’s face, making me feel warm. I looked at Dean’s car, and I subconsciously stumbled over to it, my thoughts blurred with images of Dean as I gripped the back door handle. The smudged handprint was still on the window. I remembered when that had happened. I had felt the weight on my hips shift. I remembered it so vividly I could almost feel it happening again. The way his breath felt on her face, so close, so warm. The grip on her leg as his hands wandered all over her body, over every curve. I remember the feel of Anna crawling on top of Dean, running her hands (my hands?) over his muscled chest, and how it felt to lower myself (myself?) on to his hardened erection. It was so hot and needy, and it was because of Anna.

It wasn’t my touch. Not my moans or begs that drove the hunter. It was Anna’s. It was not my touch that threw Dean into ecstasy. It was not _my touch_ that drew the low groans or hot, heavy breaths from the older Winchester.

I needed release.

I opened the Impala’s door. I could still smell it. I could smell the sex flowing from inside the car. From the soft, worn leather. 

It disgusted me.

What did Anna have that I didn’t?

Was it the sex of my vessel?  
I didn’t think that having a male body would affect how Dean saw me.  
I didn’t think it mattered. Nonetheless, Jimmy Novak is a good man and I tore him from his family. I can’t just toss him back.  
My vessel was becoming very uncomfortable. Yes, I had experienced this before, when Anna and Dean were… fornicating in the backseat.  
I had done nothing about it, and it had gone away after they were done, but I had a feeling this one wouldn’t go away. Not with all the thoughts of Dean clouding my mind.  
My head was starting to hurt, and the clothes I had chosen were becoming tight and constricting.  
I tried to fly away, but I couldn’t focus enough to manifest my wings.  
A noise struggled to escape my throat. A primal grunt, caused only by lust. I now knew I was feeling. But I was an angel, I couldn’t be taken in by the oh so _human_ feeling of wanting. But I just couldn’t control myself. Without thinking, I found myself sitting in the backseat of the car, rubbing the bulge in my trousers, just to cause some sort of friction.  
And it just… it felt so _good._  
The scent of the previous affair surrounded me, filling my flaring nostrils. I was so desperate to please myself that I hadn’t noticed my hands unzip and unbutton the dress pants my vessel had been wearing. The erection my vessel possessed sprung out, leaking and needy. I looked down at it, and sucked in a breath. I hadn’t expected it to be that large. Even so, I knew it wouldn’t last long because I was new to this.  
And I didn’t. I managed not to make too much of a mess. I cleaned it up rather quickly, and tucked my vessel back away. I took another long sniff of the smells wafting inside the car.

But this time, I smelled another scent underneath the smell of desire and sex. It was a smell of desperation, and it was attached to Dean’s scent. It was mingled with the want, but the want was not the reason for the sex. At least, it seemed that way to me. Maybe it was not Anna’s vessel that attracted Dean to her. Maybe it was the need to fornicate, the need to release the strong feelings Dean was experiencing on behalf of Anna’s talk of his time in hell. 

I heard them approaching and flew off, ashamed, no, embarrassed of what I did. I couldn’t get the scent of Dean’s desperation out of my nose. My mission began to change as I flew. Instead of stopping Lucifer from escaping, it was now to protect Dean. Not just that, but to show Dean I… that I cared for him. I wanted Dean to feel desperation for me, not for a waitress, a woman, or even another human being. Especially not Anna. I wanted him to feel desperation for me, just as I felt it for him.

I wanted Dean, and I wanted him to want me.  
I needed him to want me.  
And I intended to get it.  



End file.
